It’s never too early in the week to play 4D minigolf

I didn’t sleep last night for entirely self-inflicted reasons and my brain feels like that one accursed hoover bag you refuse to empty, because there is no way of doing so that won’t turn the neighbourhood into Silent Hill. I need to avoid any complicated write-ups, or my brain will detonate similarly and paint north London grey.

Ah, a minigolf game! I think I can just about hack the concept of minigolf, on this most desperate of Mondays. It is golf but mini. Bonzai golf. Digestible! Intuitive! Why, I’ve managed to write 100 words without even looking at the Steam page. Let’s do so now. Wait a minute, this isn’t minigolf. It’s Mini Mini Golf Golf. What is Mini Mini Golf Golf? “Destabilize the present and plunge into a neon psychohistory of a bizarre entity in distress,” the Steam page explains. “This is not a game about minigolf.” It is too late to flee.

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