Stormgate is a confusing proposition. It’s an RTS directed by former Blizzard developers that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike StarCraft. It’s a free-to-play game, but has a business model that makes you feel like you’re getting a rougher deal than if you just dropped thirty notes for it outright. It’s available now in Early Access, but has already been available in a kind of gravity-defying Super Early Access for several weeks (which you had to pay to get into).

All of which has made me feel very tired, and yearn for the days when you went into a shop and bought a game in a box for a set amount of money, and the whole game was in the box and you went home and put it on your PC and played it until your mum said “Richard!” (only my mum calls me Richard) “get off that computer and go outside and get some exercise! Do you want to be dead at 35?” Well, I’m 36 now mum. Nearly 37. So who’s laughing through their heart palpitations now?

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